Being Axesome

Yngwie Malmsteen, John Petrucci, Herman Li, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Kirk Hammett, and I as well... We all started at a young age and are born with "music genes". For instance, I was born with stringy fingers. This helps out on playing well and playing fast. But no need for music genes. You can become great with fat fingers and tone-deafness.


There are many reasons why you can be great. It all matters on will, on available time, on your gear quality, on your teacher. For instance, Joe Satriani taught both Steve Vai and Kirk Hammett in school.

Nonetheless, many guitarists (such as me) learned all on their own. Herman Li was left-handed in his youth but was too poor for a left-handed guitar so he bought a right-handed one and learned everything on his own. His second and current band got something like twenty thousand listens in just one week, which brought his fame (before Guitar Hero 3).

Anywayz, This lesson will teach you how to compose, play and sound great in every way I can possibly explain.

Note: There is no "How To Get Groupies" section. That's the only thing I suck in when it comes to rock. Please turn back to your addictive MMORPG or lesson on how to pronounce "Antidisestablishmentarianism" if you were looking for this. Sorry.

Starting Off


Alright everybody! Put your hands together for the insanely talented /ENTER STUDENT NAME HERE/!

How would you love to hear that type o' phrase at the beginning of a show? It would be great! The golden rule for training is Practice Makes Perfect. When those days my fingers don't want to collaborate come, I get really mad, but I never (should) say "I SUCK!" but more "I'm at my current limits!"

One of my school teachers says it's horrible for self-esteem to say you suck, because you will slowly but surely get to TRULY SUCK.

Okey-dokey, onto the lesson. To start off, it's always a great idea to stretch everywhere. Funny? Hahahahaha... No, it's not. Crack your fingers, your neck, your lower back, fold every arm joint in any possible direction as far as possible (without breaking your arm off), even go to every finger and massage it. You may take your arm and push it far behind your head.

Arpeggios

Once done, relax all your muscles. This is a vital way of easily playing correctly. Pick up the guitar and play a song.

Try this. Use a metronome, and play four notes for one beat.

=======|====|===|===|===|===|===|===|===|====|======|========|=============
e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------89-10-11|
G|------------------------------6789-----6789/10----------789-10-11--------|
D|------------------6789----6789-----6789--------789-10/11-----------------|
A|------6789----6789----6789-----------------------------------------------|
E|--6789----6789-----------------------------------------------------------|


e|-----------------------9-10-11-12-------------9-10-11-12------------9-10-|
B|-------------9-10-11-12-----------9-10-11-12-------------9-10-11-12------|
G|-89-10-11-12-------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


e|-11-12------------9-10-11-12---------------------------------------------|
B|-------9-10-11-12--------------------------------------------------------|
G|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|

There are no pauses, so don't be fooled by the empty spots in the tab.

Gradually speed up. Eventually you'll be able to play it correctly, even clean. At every first note of each mesure, pick hard, because when you start getting fast you'll know where you are. After you've perfected that, try this, and then link it to the exercise above (Remove the final 12 on the last exercise if you do this).

e|-12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9----------------------------------------|
B|------------12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9-------|
G|---------------------------------------------12-11-10-9------------12-11-|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-10-9------------12-11-10-9----------------------------------------------|
D|------12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9-------------|
A|---------------------------------------12-11-10-9------------12-11-10-9/8|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-----------10-9-8/7----------9-8-7-6---------9-8-7-6---------------------|
E|-11-10-9-8----------10-9-8-7---------9-8-7-6---------9-8-7-(Go to Ex.1)--|

Follow this order:


1,2,1,2, so on and so forth. Every time you can easily play these arpeggios successfully at a set speed, put up the metronome from 5 to 10 BPM.

Yngwie's Neck Slide

It might seem a little hard, but it's pretty easy. It's basically playing many notes in one area, and then sliding somewhere else. I'd have to show you. It's not easy to explain.

"It's like urinating in a public bathroom in a urinal next to the one being used by a guy two feet taller than you. Just not possible." -Kryten, Red Dwarf Sci-fi series.

Enough cheesing around. Well, not really. We're just getting started on cheesiness! Keep reading, my students!

Here's the pre-solo to Evil Eye:

e|-5-8-7-5--4-7-5-4--7-9-8-7--5-8-7-5--12-10-8-7--10-8-7-5-4--8-7-5--4-7-5-4
PAUSE ^

As usual, no pauses except where specified. Just written to be simple to read. The pause is where 5 goes to 12 and is as long as every other note. To understand better, find Evil Eye and listen to it all the way to the pre-solo (when the song changes melody).

Chords

Okay, you're probably saying "What? I thought we were learning how to solo"!

Well, you're just like a dog in heat and it's owner's leg; just plain wrong. Chords are very important, even for lead guitarists. Here are the chords for the Paradise City (Guns 'N' Roses) chorus:

e|--3------------------------------------3--------|
B|--3--------5--------10--------5--------3--------|
G|--0---x-x--5---x-x--10---x-x--5---x-x--0---x-x--|
D|--0---x-x--5---x-x--10---x-x--5---x-x--0---x-x--|
A|--x---x-x--3---x-x--8----x-x--3---x-x--x---x-x--|
E|--3------------------------------------3--------| x2

Might be tough at first, at least for the first chord. Here's a tip; press E3 with your thumb and let it touch A, thus getting a dead note. Get a few songs to learn with interesting chords (Recommendations: Paradise City (GN'R), Pride And Joy (Stevie Ray Vaughan), Binge And Grab (Buckethead), Any Dragonforce Song's Rhythm Guitar. All the previously announced are great songs and fun to play. No DF haters were hurt in the making of this parenthesis, unfortunately).


Double-Handed Tapping

My friends all think I'm a musical genius (and I'm not just bragging) and know me especially for hammering on to the neck to get my crazy 2-hand taps I tend to pull off (geddit? Hammer-on, Pull-off? ). It's actually very easy. At first I thought "What the purgatory?" but when I tried it, it was more like "What the purgatory? I play heavenly! That was easy as hell!".

First off, you have to learn to tap with two fingers on your fretting hand. Done? Okay, now take off your fretting hand from the fretboard. Choose any fret on the neck and place your picking hand onto the strings to prevent string noise. Only leave the string you wanna tap uncovered.

Now hammer onto the string (start off slowly, eventually you'll do it no problem at any speed without missing the string) enough to make it resonate. Tap it then pull it off immediately. Build up speed if you can. Once you've perfected hitting the string correctly, put the fretting hand back to where it was and, in synchronisation, tap all the frets one after another. For instance: Left Index, Left Pinky, Right Index.

An easy example (yes, easy) is the tapping part in Van Halen's "Eruption". On the B string, tap:

|-5-8-12-5-8-12-5-8-12-5-8-12-5-8-13-5-8-13-5-8-13-5-8-13-7-10-13-7-10-13...

You can find a tab for that. At least now you can play with both weapons of mass-destrawesomeness simultaneously. Well, unless you're trying to imitate Michael-Angelo Batio.

Composing

It's easier than you think. To cut the story as short as pay-per-view programming, read this list of tricks:

1- Improvise. Even if you are at your current limit's in improvisation, play whatever until you discover something you like. This is by far the easiest way to compose music. Cheap yet functional, just like a chinese VCR.

2- Listen to some songs, choose some riffs and edit them moderately. Just enough to make it sound different than the original.

3- Discover new musicians. Even if you don't like them, if they are considered to be great, listen to them and maybe even learn a few riffs from their songs. Yes. Even Pat Benetar.

4- Be patient. Don't rush, even if you listen to Rush. Go slowly. Half of learning guitar is about patience.

5- Ask your friends. If you have any song-writing friends, possibly very talented, ask them their personal tricks.

Your Rock Movement

Dio invented the "Rock On" hand-sign, metal bands wear black leather, Jeff Beck and Pete Townshend destroy their guitars for some bizarre reason, Slash dresses up like Abraham Lincoln and ZZ Top look like Gandulph. Stevie Ray Vaughan played behind his head, Yngwie Malmsteen picks with his teeth, Michael-Angelo Batio plays a double-guitar, Jimi Hendrix played with his weapon of rock on fire.

I for one would learn to play guitar upside-down, like a violin only striking the correct string with the pick, playing it between my legs (the guitar, not my wing-dang-doodle).

How about you?

Other Unclassifiable Stuff

Choosing your gear. Easy. Between a Fender Squier and a Gibson Les Paul, the deuce wins. Between a Behringer amp and a Marshall amp, the Marshall tends to win. Consult your friends and/or the clerk of your local music store for help on choosing. Today I bought myself a pick yet I never knew that a pick varies thickness with it's colour (usually).

Organising your playing time. If you have school or work to attend to, choose a time period where you don't have any worries. Play at least an hour a day. During the weekend, if I finished my homework, I can play litterally all day non-stop (well, unless I've been fed laxatives). Remember, an hour a day keeps suckishness away.

Inspiration. If you want to write lyrics to a song, write on your current mood. If you lost your wallet containing all your most embarrassing snapshots, write on something like a paraplegic duck. If you just talked to your crush, write on something like diving into a swimming pool full of caramel (unless you're allergic). Get the picture? Primairly the picture about you ripping your pants at that Halloween party last year?

In Conclusion

I hope I was a help (and a good comedian). I hope to recieve comments and to see people referencing to this tutorial onstage (which might not happen).

If you need any help, ask a question and I might (or might not) answer.

Just keep practicing until your fingers hurt, which means you're getting better. I hope to meet you one day on tour (if you're great by then) and to write more tuts.